By: Shelby R.

When people hear “mental health” the honest truth is that they usually only think about depression and anxiety, maybe PTSD if you’re lucky. Mental health awareness consistently ignores disorders that have psychotic symptoms. I wrote this in the hopes that perhaps it could go far and people could actually see something new for a change; the darker, more sinister side of mental health.

Honorable Mention · High School Writing (2022)

There’s someone inside my mind. Before, they were in the corner of my room, but then they crawled inside me.  

Feeling my face, I can’t feel anything. My throat is raw from the clawing from inside. 

There’s whispers in here in here 

They don’t recognize or acknowledge me because I’m not what they think of. 

They open the door for talk about the pain deep inside. 

But they only think of the sad pain. 

I have the sad pain. 

But it’s drowned out by the other pain. 

The pain they won’t acknowledge. 

I’m hearing things. I’m seeing things 

This is not real 

I can’t stop this 

No one can stop this 

The medication is working but I’m still hurting 

It did matter to me. 

I wanted to be better 

My mental health mattered to me 

I want to be ok 

I do 

But they just want to label me and leave me and lock me away  

And watch me fade away. 

“do you see anyone in the room right now?” 

Maybe I do  

Maybe I don’t 

What are you gonna do about it? 

About the person deep inside  

Choking me from the inside 

You’ll write me off and put me in chains 

You don’t want to help me 

None of you want me to be better 

To be happy 

I’m the only one on my team 

My heart beats in sync with theirs 

They breathe for me 

We all know what will become of me 

I’m the only one on my team 

If I don’t care about me 

Then who will? 

I have no choice 

I am the only one who can save me 

I’ll perform a dissection and remove this person from inside me 

I am happy 

I am happy 

I am happy 

I am free.