Excitement, joy, worry, fear
Questioning, “Will I be good enough” when they are here
Precious baby – soft smiles and little toes
Will I stay sane? Will I have that mentioned glow?
They look at me as if I’m perfect, but no, I don’t feel that way at all
I feel weak, I feel nervous, I feel small
Care for baby, make sure they are fed
Care for yourself? Never mind, “you’re fine, you aren’t dead.”
Boiling point has been reached
But it’s time to listen, time to teach
Stay calm
After all you have this precious baby
What could be wrong?
Wishing I was there
Feeling guilt, feeling bare
Feeling empty in never ending depth
Sadness filling my insides – up it crept
To my brain, waiting for it all to implode
Ticking time bomb, waiting to explode
Enough is enough
Time to take control
I’m ripping off the band aid, taking off the cuffs
I’m starting small – it’s all I can do
No more screaming, “When will this end?”
Days are short and so very few
Silent walks and coffee breaks
Breathe in, breathe out
Take time to wright for goodness’ sake
Cherish the moments, but there’s no guilt to be had
If I need to get away, if I just feel bad
Taking anti-depressants because it’s what I need
I’m doing this for them, but more importantly, me
I grew them and now they’re helping me grow
Through the pain, through the fear, my legacy in tow
I never knew I was this strong until I had to be
I’m working hard every day to become a better me
No, the hard days are not over, they’ve only just begun
But mental health matters so I can be their mom
